[Advice] Why do men think big junk = women?

I want to talk about one sub-issue within this which is the worry about so-called "size queens". Bear with me... there will be math.

First, the basic physiological idea that a larger penis (up to a certain point) may provide more pleasing penetrative sex experiences for a partner is pretty uncontroversial. A penis that is only 2 inches when erect would make regular penetrative sex challenging. But, penetrative sex is not the only kind of sex, and many people find other sexual activities to be more satisfying, so there is not necessarily a reason for a man with a 2 inch erection to be entirely worried. The process of searching for a sexually compatible female may be more difficult, but this is true in any aspect of life where one falls into an extreme tail of a distribution for some property where everyone prefers people around the average.

And don't forget a similar problem could affect men far on the other end too. If you really had a 20 inch erection, on average you can't really be doing anything physically (in PIV sex anyway) that someone with an 8 inch penis can do ... yet you could experience being treated like you're some kind of a novelty, someone to bang and tell a story about, but never really take seriously. Is that really better? I know I would probably find that existence, even if it had regular sex, far more existentially terrifying that having a far below average penis size yet being able to really connect with someone whose sexual preferences were compatible with my body. I'm not saying the problems are perfectly symmetric between the low tail and the high tail of the distribution, but it's also not like the high-tail is problem free.

When you actually look at the distribution of penis sizes, it can clear some things up.

One thing that it clears up for me personally is the issue of so-called "size queens." If a person makes an artificial filter on men requiring them to have greater than or equal to 7 inches of penis length (when erect), that person is seriously saying they will only consider sex with 2% of the population.

If the distribution of other properties is more or less independent of penis size (I have no idea if this is reasonable to assume) then out of that 2%, a further large percentage won't be intelligent enough, successful enough, healthy enough, etc., etc. It's not like the top 2% of men by penis length is full of a bunch of Ivy-educated male models hopping down from their polo horses to fuck a size queen. So say you demand 7 inches -- plus some other "normal" standards of intellect, health, financial stability -- well then really you're probably talking about maybe 1% of men, probably more like 0.5% of men.

In my state there are roughly 7 million people, with a rough estimate saying that around 22.1% will be men in the age range 20-50, for a total of about 1.54 million. I happen to suffer from Peyronie's disease (as do about 5% of men) and I'm going to guess that a size queen wouldn't go for someone with that disorder. So let's remove another 5% of that to get about 1.47 million (of course we could keep removing based on many conditions, but let's say this 5% underestimate is OK).

So now out of the 1.47 million eligible men, 1% results in about 14676 men, many of whom are 50 or older.

It may superficially sound like an OK number for an entitled person to proudly proclaim "There are only about 15000 men I would sleep with in this state." But let's think about it. How many people do you come into contact with in a year? By one rough estimate you will "encounter" between 32,000 and 100,000 people in a lifetime -- let's be generous and assume you do almost all of that encountering equally each year between ages 20 and 50, and lets take the average of 66,000 people as an estimate for how many people you will "encounter." Probably about half will be women, so 33,000 encounters with men in your lifetime, or 1100 male encounters per year between 20 and 50 (not that these encountered males don't have to be in the example age range for sex either).

So now we have to care about taking a random batch draw of 1100 men from the population of all men in your region (I'm using my state as an example), and then ask what is the likelihood that even one of those men falls into the 14676 that the size queen is willing to sleep with.

This is a bit like playing 1100-card poker with a deck that has two suits, "large penis" and "everyone else." The probability that at least one of the 1100 is in the unicorn set will be the same as 1 minus the probability that none are, which is going to be 1 - [(3500000 - 14676)/3500000]1100 = 0.0411, or about 4% per year.

So in an extremely rough sense, you're looking at searching for something like 12.5 years just to get to a 50/50 chance that you've met your 7-inch penis guy who also has acceptable other traits (it may be less because you probably don't sample "encounters" with replacement, but it may be more because not all "encounters" are the same -- what if that guy who gave you your psoriasis medicine is totally packing a giant wang behind the pharmacy counter?? chances are that "encounter" is not going to materialize for you).

Now, the calculation about is extremely rough because also you now have things like reddit or other search mechanisms so that a size queen can try to intentionally zoom in on only large-penis males. But, she would still have to deal with liars, scammers, and Nigerian princes who really just need your help to get their estate back which they totally will give you half of if you just give them $200 right now. So even with improved search ability, I do not believe that it substantially reduces the search time.

So what options are left? One is that size queens totally compromise on every other issue, and they don't mind humping an obese, comatose man with halitosis as long as he's got the goods. I find it implausible that someone would be so picky about one thing (penis length) but not all picky about many other things, so this is off.

Another thing to remember is that men with big dicks don't just want to fuck size queens. Many of them will just happen to meet a nice girl who didn't really care about size and they'll get along and be happy together. So there's also competition even for the size queens to not only locate, but also convince these men to sleep with them. We're not even attempting to account for how that will reduce the pool of candidate men.

At this point, my conclusion is basically that size queens do not actually exist. Yes, of course there may be some really small group of women who actually insist upon this and spend years searching. But the sheer probability behind it says that most of the women who claim to be size queens have to be blowing smoke out of their ass, and would be happy to take a quality man with a smaller penis because they don't want to be searching for 12 damn years.

So even though my math has plenty of issues and assumptions, and the numbers are rough, I feel pretty damn confident that "size queens" is just something some people run their mouth about, and something that a bunch of us guys allow to make us insecure needlessly, and I am gonna probably masturbate with my totally average penis later and fall asleep nice and easy and not give two shits about it.

/r/sex Thread