I was in this situation. We were not married but living together. I got involved with someone emotionally and i wanted to meet him for sex. My bf (4 years) was so turned on by it he wanted me to do it and then tell him all about it, while he jerked off. So instead i talked dirty to him about what would happen and he jerked himself off. Then he kept asking me more about it and wanted me to actually go ahead with it.

I'm going to very carefully lay out my headspace here. I was with the man for 4 years. I thought i loved him. Our relationship was failing because he was more interested in exploring his desires and kinks (of which were many). I felt like i had become a vessel for him. He wasn't able to put his own desires over my needs and wants, so he became fixated on taboos. He also was a complete submissive and allowed me to be the dominant one, in other aspects of our relationship.

I was completely worn out emotionally and mentally. This man watched me gain massive amount of weight, have panic attacks, start antidepressants and hide myself away. I was unemployable and i couldn't handle any company, so i became isolated.

I started talking to this other man because he was nice to me. He didn't see me at my worst and he didn't know my anxiety inside. He made me feel sexy and desirable. Sex had become so repellant for me with the bf that i wanted to escape. Ultimately the person didn't matter.

When i told him about this, i wanted him to be angry. I wanted him to scream and shout and fight for me. I was meant to be his love, but instead i got permission because my bf wanted some more sexual gratification, at my expense. Y'see if it had of been an affair, that would have been better for me because it would have been private and my own. Instead i was being told that even if i wanted to meet others, that was ok, there was nothing that could ever break us up. Even to my ears now, that is fucked up.

I did the smartest thing i have ever done, i cheated on him. I wanted to be free so i met a beautiful guy and i made out with him. I never told the bf and the following week i broke up with him. Luckily, i was living elsewhere at the time so i couldn't be manipulated in to staying with him.

OP i have no advice for you. I can only share my perspective. But something is sour in that relationship of yours, so man the fuck up. Your beautiful wife wants to fuck other men. You are not poly. You are a couple who have vowed to be together, and you're gonna stand by and let your wife do this, because of a rush of blood to your head? Reclaim this marriage and have some self respect. For your wife's sake and yours.