[Advice] Sexually inexperienced [19F] and unable to cum

I kind of relate to your post, since I've also been a 19 year old in her first relationship and who had never masturbated. Not being able to cum in the begining is completely normal, since you both need time to understand how your body works (though obvisously, I don't know how long you have been trying). I don't see why this should influence your readiness to have sex. I know this is a bit unusual, but I for instance had my first orgasm when having sex, and I also started to enjoy manual stimulation more after that (admittedly, my partner and I both had zero experience, so I guess we were not so good at it in the beginning).

In any case, this is not for your boyfriend to decide. And he needs to understand that focusing too much on his ability to make you cum is in general a bad idea, since it doesn't really help you relax.

What do you mean by "physically uncomfortable" ? Are you sure you do not simly start to get dry after going on for too long ? (have you try with lube ?) What can also happen is that you start having very intense feelings, but not enough regularity to go all the way. I don't necessarily think that masturbation is the only solution (if you don't want to and don't feel in any hurry, you don't have to), but it would probably make things somewhat easier: you would be the one doing and feeling, so understanding and anticipating any painful sensation should be easier.

Finally, you say that you know "what works for you". This is a great start, but in my experience, something can be pleasurable and brings you on the verge of orgasm without being what will actually get you there... sometimes, you need a little something extra ! Keep experimenting :)

/r/sex Thread