I sat in my brand new attorney's office a week after he left, and she asked me if he had always been that abusive. At the time I thought she was just trying to bait me into a high conflict divorce.

Six months later we're working with a family therapist and he wants to set up a joint session with both of us parents. The therapist tried to talk me out of it because she didn't even want me in the same room as him, but I thought she was nuts. We sat there all together and calmly discussed the issues. Unfortunately she didn't take his side, and out in the parking lot he threatened XYZ if I didn't agree to do things his way.

There I was with two professionals pointing to the writing on the wall, I didn't see it. I still would hesitate to label it abuse, but he's definitely a bully. Unfortunately, now that I'm not there to act as a buffer, the kids are getting a 100% unfiltered dad. Visitation isn't really a thing with my teens.

What I find perplexing, is that he frequently sends me links to articles and such about dealing with an abusive ex-wife. I don't think he realizes I don't have to do what he says just because he asks nicely.