It seems to me like you've got a real control thing going on with this future money. Like you feel like you can trust yourself enough to make good choices while you can't trust her at all.

I do a lot of what she wants now without any bad feelings. For example, we went to Europe for her birthday. It was a great experience. She is just bad with the big financial picture. She has already stated that she wants me to handle our finances, because she finds financial matters boring. I know that an inheritance is financial, and so technically I should handle it, but it also seems like a breach of trust to not disclose a large change in our general financial state.

And of the two choices you mention, why is moving back to her home city a bad choice? For her, being near friends and family probably sounds really appealing.

No one in her family lives there, just friends... for now (it's expensive so they've been gradually moving away). Her sentiments could change for this particular city, but if we do move somewhere expensive, she's competitive and will compare the lives of locals with our own, and for what?

I don't know what to tell you since this is all so up in the air but if you're thinking about marrying a woman you don't know and can't trust 100% when it comes to money, well, you might want to rethink your future plans. Honestly the way you write this up though it sounds to me like you're making trouble where there is none.

Yeah, I admit that she could have a different mentality in a few years, especially after she starts working. I know that working turned me into a bit of a bean counter with my own expenses. Luckily, it's cheap to get advice now, and realize the error of my ways, before it impacts someone dear to me :-]