after 10 years of porn and gambling constant stress dopamine attacks Eric I'm ready to quit - how do I find mysef what I enjoy who I'm etc after the withdrawals?

I had to convert the pleasure seeking and found from high risk or high intensity by at first making up my own freak yoga meditation thing as I could not just get social or regimented about it. I would breath and hold air like crack hits and merely attempt a few push ups and balanced body stretches/ bending over and mere leg lifts. Didn't do much and mind took over. No boredom if expecting it but knowing its pain in end to chase away. 5 mins push ups , then read something. Then 5 minutes go talk to self. Be own therapist and find self funny vs pathetic. Realize fighting urges isn't real work, that's just delayed ego, so, talk to self and stay as fluid as possible in mind. Replace one bad habit for one good one. Beware as all hell TV or news as its underlying stress of why escape to porn and gambling. If you're a student realize you're there to Learn not get a job from it. If working, consider your boss if you were them and what you'd expect of you and promote. Basically no one can or will do this for you but you so love that its open ended. You're not bored you're missing self direction but, that direction just needs to be healthy and balanced and the world will open up with talents and hobbies or others. Security and society tells you from media and ads and fucking ego Facebook you're supposed to make create do sing or fix something. Slow down on all that, its nonsense consumerism disguised as worth. For now its let's stop wasting money and pretending gambling especially poker is fun, its boring and predictable as shit actually. And porn is saying your value as a life form is some skanky ass in your face twit who as soon as you come to, you're ashamed yet process repeats. That's no fun and no thrill once seen for what it is.

Inside your mind are controls for supreme pleasure and stimulation and they look at first like boring hard work and the self help books feel easier to put down and ignore than follow, so make your own path and if you fall down get back up. Feel like shit gambling again and jerking off excessively to remind yourself why because ego Loves to fail and just give up so it can stay immature and base and greedy.

Its a stage. Some never grow past it and it really fucks them up. So grow. Die content if not happy and accomplished if anything in your head about these two things.

Morbid but you could be dead in a few weeks let alone moving. See what giving freak yoga , deep breathing, stretches, and some short runs or long walks does inside your head. All that brain candy from vice is like pure nutrition when it come from setting goals and exercise and mindful poses and stretches. From there it can go nuts how cool your body will carry you forward as a reward system and your confidence and esteem will skyrocket without ego or accidentally becoming a dick. A lot of healthy work out people don't balance it with deep thought and nature so they appear to be gym rats and ego monsters all fit. To each their own. You just go do your healthy body mind think thing and try anything and make it yours.

That's my on the fly mobile best for now. It feels awesome to not struggle and be aware of shallow ego coexisting with deep caring heart that helps others where possible.

/r/Meditation Thread Parent