I bet hardly anybody even remembers what you did. And if they do remember, their version is more flattering than yours, I promise. You feel weird about it because deep down, you want more for yourself, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Something that has helped me a lot is listening to other people tell embarrassing stories at AA meetings, here on SD, etc. I've heard stories about pretty much every embarrassing thing I've ever done, we all have a lot in common.

I kinda think about it like... I did something wrong, I'm trying to change myself for the better in acknowledgement, and that's enough. Mistakes were made. But now it's time for today. AA's forth step activity is actually really helpful IMO whether you're in the program or not. The exercise can be done different ways, but it's basically a form of coming to terms with the past. We really can't change anything that happened, and I believe that we all deserve a shot to be judged on our own merits. It's all in what we do next.