Against all the advice on here, we moved in together.

Have you said all that you could possibly say? That you simply cannot be in a relationship and be perfectly happy when you're only having sex X times a month? If not, tell him. You are totally right. You are too young for this to happen to you. If he does love you then he would be willing to compromise. You're not being selfish or "bad" because you have a high sex drive. He's the one being selfish because as it is, things are skewed towards him in terms of frequency and you're right in thinking this is unfair. Talk to him and tell him to be totally honest with you. See if he's willing to compromise if his sex drive is indeed that low because if not, then you're just going to have to leave him or have an open relationship. It's that simple. You can't force him to change and vice versa.

I'm so sorry. I know exactly how you feel as there are many parallels to my relationship. I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 34. I hoped that the lack of sex was only because he was tired over the weekend from work but when we started living together he had no excuse. I've never hated TVs and cellphones more in my life. I did everything I could possibly do. Eventually, I just told him that things must improve (and a variant of my first paragraph) or else we're going to have to break up. Our mismatched libidos had been a recurring hot-point during our entire relationship up until recently: even in the early days there was no fiery passion. Things have gotten better for us, but don't expect to ever be completely satisfied. I still have to resort to masturbation to tide me over but I'm fine with this new normal.

My advice? Just get him on your side. Explore kinks, discuss threesomes, have "low stress" sexual activity, get drunk and fuck. Get high and fuck, even! Do whatever you can do that you'll think will save your relationship, if you think it's worth saving. How are things besides the sex? Is there kissing and cuddling or is intimacy a problem on a whole?

/r/DeadBedrooms Thread