Well, yeah - doesn't that go without saying, lol?

The way you phrased it made it seem like that wasn't the case, if it is we're on the same level then.

I actually want a sexual partner (even for a ONS)

This does seem rather limiting for you when you have such standards even for ONS. If I rated ONS the same way I rate potential girlfriends I'd probably never get laid either.

For ONS pretty much all I care about is that she's hot enough to give me a boner and she's submissive.

For FWB same applies but she'd have to be non-crazy to a reasonable degree and I don't wanna fuck about if she has kids because fuck dealing with kids and all the drama that comes with that bullshit.

For a relationship I am very strict these days because I am not really actively seeking a relationship anyway. But all the above applies plus she has to be cool with never having kids (this is a must), she has to be willing to cohabit without marriage (also pretty much a must for both pragmatic and ideological reasons), she has to be into some fairly hardcore BDSM shit on the submissive end of the spectrum, she has to be very sexy and actually make an effort to keep it up, preferably she should have at least a hint of "scene" style (think Suicide Girls), she has to be pretty much perfect. A very tall order but like I said I'm not out looking for a relationship anyway. I'm not expecting to meet such a unicorn but if a girl like that happens to come along I'd of course wanna snap her up.

Maybe that's my MGTOW coming out, lol

I get you there, as I've said these days I'm all about just having fun but not getting seriously involved with women at all.

Given what I felt that my wife and I had, I think I operated with "what is there to be jealous about? That's not going to go away…

Exactly. It's all about finding the source of the jealousy and trying to fix it. In your case you did. If it was the case you just couldn't, then poly probably just ain't your cup of tea.

Ah, yes. I love that feeling. Though those women are always the most headache-inducing, lol.

Damn straight. She was proper nuts too. We had fun though.

she was the spunky, sunny girl-next-door type

I do love that too. I always find the "girl next door" types to be very cute. I like cute girls.