AITA for asking a 47 year old man who is dating my 22 year old niece some pointed questions that made him “uncomfortable”?

YTA, but I see where you’re coming from. I think your intentions were pure but you went about this all wrong.

I’m 25 and my boyfriend is 55. We’ve been together a couple years so I was only slightly older than your niece when we started dating. We’re both doctors so there’s no appreciable power differential but people still find our relationship weird. When you’re in a relationship with this large an age gap, questions like yours are to be expected. My boyfriend and I have each been grilled by each other’s families because you’re right, it’s not common and most people think it’s really strange. Your niece’s bf should have answered your questions and accepted that as par for the course.

However, I think you should have told your niece you planned to ask some tough questions, and you should have grilled her as well. Why does she get out of taking responsibility for the relationship when she constitutes 50% of it? Why are you putting all of the blame on him? I understand that she’s younger, but she made an adult decision to be with him and she should have had to take responsibility for it like an adult.

I’m not faulting you for caring for your niece, but I am faulting you for not allowing her to take any heat for a decision that was equally hers.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread