YTA, empathy etc aside. The way you are going about constantly justifying your actions and trying to turn people's opinion from a negative to a positive makes it even worse. You posted a question to get opinion, just take the opinion and stop arguing. That way you might come out with a lesson in human behaviour. Maybe you are set in your ways and routine if that is the case then you shouldn't have invited your sibling and their partner. Heck I'm particular about certain things and try my best to avoid situation which might put me and others around me in an unfortunate situation. First lesson, know your boundaries and routines before injecting unsuspecting people into your system. In this situation YTA but it gives you a great chance to alter or better your behaviour in the future. Accept it and move on.