not really an answer to the main question but if you’re wife is fixated on what she is doing wrong she should think about why that is. if she thinks that she is doing something wrong then she should find a way that she deems better and do that instead, if she thinks that she isn’t doing something wrong then other people’s opinions (excluding cps) should not matter, it’s her child and it’s her decisions. if she can justify them soundly, even just to herself and you, then they are good enough for a child that’s really only the business of the two of you. people have a serious problem minding their business, i blame twitter and facebook.