AITA for basically telling my ex girlfriend that she's not as hot as my current girlfriend?


How can anyone expect to say something like that to someone they ended a stable decent relationship with and not get burned. especially if by every metric possible your current SO is a step up in your own eyes. It doesn't matter two shits what the people around you or your ex thinks about your current SO. If you feel you've got a million steps up, then you have.

It's quite clear no matter her psych problems, your ex has not gotten over your relationship, and that's unfortunate, but absolutely not your problem to deal with. She ended it, for one of the worst reasons possible, and she has to deal with that.

I am depressed and in a fit of bad days did some stupid things. I'm still responsible for them. Blaming depression for poor choices only serves to further fuel and encourage depressive streaks as you feel as if there's no negative to them. She needs to understand and accept her situation as something her own psych issues caused, or there's no hope she'll ever get treatment or understand them. My psychiatrist explained it as equivalent to a customer who wanted their money back on a used condom because they were having an excellent day when they used it, but now regretted the deed because the person wanted to be friends.

That said, it took me someone I'd wronged pointing this out to me to realize what I was doing to people around me, She might benefit from being sat down sober and talked to. It might be that your relationship with her is too far gone to be that person, but it might be worth pointing out to the rest of the friendship group just how fucked up that justification is. She's either hopefully starting to realize the social issues with how bad days have hit her, or she's bullshitting and using depression as an unquestionable excuse. The first is solvable as a friend group, the second is not.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread