He shouldn’t be expected to join you in buying monthly groceries for an acquaintance of yours. It has nothing to do with him, and clearly he isn’t motivated by altruism or “acts of kindness/gifts” the way that you are. I think that is an unreasonable expectation for you to ask him. It also makes me question, a bit, the nature of your other expenses. I’m personally not a charity and wouldn’t want to reveal my salary either if my partner was going to start requesting I do people favors to make my partner feel good about themselves.

He’s an AH for putting flowers into a split bill fund, and making you cover dates. I am sexist, and think that he should be financially generous toward you in gift giving and splitting costs.

He has motivations for saving and keeping his income private. Whether that is because he wants to save to buy a home, or invest, or move out on his own with a comfortable cushion, who knows. You two certainly aren’t on the same page financially though. And I think it doesn’t bode well for the relationship that you are unable (and he is unwilling) to discuss it.

All those comments are assuming that you don’t have a habit of spending excessively and finding reasons to spend your money when you have it. Why would I increase my payment toward household expenses so that you can increase the grocery budget to a stranger, take the dog to scheduled weekly grooming appointments, and order take away/carry-out multiple times a week? It isn’t really improving your ability to save or use your money in a way other that I would want to contribute to.

He’s still a terrible BF, though.