I know the verdict has been made etc etc. But I’d still like to add my pennies worth and say I call NTA/ESH. Honestly, you had your own grieving process and one of the things that allowed you to move on was burning those diaries. Yes, maybe you should made copies prior to burning them for your siblings, but I feel like this was an in the moment “I need an outlet” reaction to the poor relationship you had, and dubbing you an AH for a knee jerk reaction seems harsh imo, given the circumstances. It’s not like you can take back what you did, and I would encourage you to apologise to your siblings and try to explain why you did what you did. They’ll either come to terms or they’ll continue to feel the way they do - but you do owe an apology to them with it being their mother too, but you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what you needed to do as an outlet to the whole situation