YTA and the actual worst. Your comments suggest casual racism (and in your post you weirdly only refer to it as exclusively your wife's culture and heritage as opposed to your wife and children's shared culture and heritage) and you prioritize your extended family over your own wife and children. Start putting her and the kids first, getting home at a reasonable time, and YOU cook for yourself and the boys if you all have such sensitive palates. She shouldn't have to cook THREE SEPARATE DISHES, step up and contribute to the effort if you all genuinely have to eat different things.

Making your sons finish this one meal that they begged and pleaded for and insisted they wanted isn't abuse. It's frankly an ultimately harmless BUT effective parenting lesson: if they beg, plead, promise, insist, and swear that they DEFINITELY want something, it sets up the expectation that they DEFINITELY want something. They are old enough to start learning to not do that lightly. Make them a sandwich, explain to them that mom isn't a maid and that making dinner takes effort, and that they need to be more mindful about actually meaning what they say. A small-time consequence like this will leave a lasting impression to be less entitled and more aware of what they ACTUALLY want.

Milktoast.