There's a quote by Caren DeCrow

"If a woman makes a unilateral decision to bring a pregnancy to term, and the father does not, and cannot, share in this decision, he should not be responsible for 21 years of support. Autonomous women making independent decisions about their lives should not expect men to finance their choice."

Women have multiple ways of opting out of parenthood. Men do not. In my personal opinion he should have the choice to terminate his rights. Unfortunately it's not that easy, but it should be. Call me heartless if you like, but as a woman myself I would never want to bring a child into the world unless both parents wanted it. Being unwanted is extremely hurtful. That shit breaks you, I know, I was the unwanted daughter of a narcissistic father. If he wasn't ignoring me he was taking his shit out on me for simply existing.

You are NTA for feeling how you do and you are not TA if you can't be with somebody who won't take responsibility for what they view as a mistake. But I also don't think he's an AH either for feeling how he feels about the situation. He doesn't want to be a father to this kid, and forcing him to be would only hurt the child and build resentment towards the both of you. I don't see this relationship lasting if you give him that ultimatum. It might be time to admit you're incompatible and move on.