Thanks for the perspective. I work from inside the insurance industry as an insurance advocate for families with kids who have special needs and I cannot wrap my head around this desire to have a “normal” kid with all the existing expense of someone with high medical needs. And yet, I come across this again and again.

It’s not my place to judge, but I can’t help but wonder, especially when it’s a family that’s deliberately trying to conceive a second child with extra help, like IVF.

I’m not trying to be cruel or judgmental - and my opinions never make it into my work - but I can’t imagine the state of mind someone must have to add another child deliberately - especially biologically - to an existing family dynamic.

I guess the fact that I’m autistic and asexual and I never plan on having biological children (I would love to foster children, but don’t want to conceive any of my own) might be a factor. I see things like this on a very logical, probably to my detriment.

I have nothing but support for families that try and try again for bio children of their own and then resort to IVF. It’s everyone else i have trouble supporting - IVF for a second child and so on.

And I apologize to all those who have gone through such things. I would like to learn more about this and be a better helper. But for now... I struggle.