ESH.

Breaking up sounds like the correct solution here, albeit the messiest in terms of timing. Then again, she did create that timing, so there’s that.

But. You said yourself that you made concessions on the bills based on her ability to pay. That sounded generous and considerate at first. Turns out though, in your mind, the relationship was never on equal footing because of that, since as soon as a conflict occurred, the truth came out that this, to you, meant that she had fewer rights (literally your words). You weren’t wrong to threaten the relationship itself, since this came down to a matter of trust. Threatening her roof, knowing full well you could hang that over her, was grossly manipulating, demeaning, and therefore definitely an ass hole thing to do. Nobody’s finding a new home in a week at a hotel, and you fucking know that. You’re lucky she had her parents to turn to, and you shouldn’t be surprised this framed the conflict in a way that easily made you look like the spiteful bad guy.

That said, she did breach your trust. I would be extraordinarily pissed too, and I might even have broken up too depending on how the argument went. I’m always telling my kids the mark of a person is not whether or not you make mistakes, but how you handle them. If she couldn’t see your side of it (the part about springing it on you, leaving you out of it, etc. especially after months) and wouldn’t make some sort of conciliatory concession, then yeah, you’re just not right for each other because clearly any mutual respect is gone at this point.

So yeah, again, ESH for sure.