ESH

You are not an asshole the only one here who is, is the cheating SO.

Dude I'm gonna level with you. I figured out my dad wasn't my dad late in life and it wasn't even a secret I was just oblivious. it still fucking crushed me.

You need to take the highest road on this one and I'm sorry to say it doesn't benefit you.

Think about the kid. Can you picture how she would feel if a stranger just appeared in her life "I'm actually your dad because your mom cheated" kid would be crushed and build resentment towards her mom, her Dad and you.

Because of the cancer thing you may want to hit up the mom and just be straight "If there is any way your kid may be mine get her tested I got cancer ETC. "

You promised that you would never tell on her for cheating, and this kid is part of the promise. You know she is loved and we'll taken care of, isn't that what parents want for their children? It would be different if the kid was being abused.

Unless the kid reaches out to you in the future you are gonna need to drop this one. Better to say you didn't want to break up her family than ruin her childhood.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It's gonna be okay in the end. ♥️