I’m sure i’ll be downvoted here but whatever:

He’s not pissed about the not getting free labour. the grandparents had not even experienced doing the labour nor objected to it. We have no knowledge that he wouldn’t have suggested a daycare if the grandparents HAD objected to it (which they hadn’t)

Her feelings changed, and that doesn’t make her TA, you’re right. What does make her TA is quitting her job and unilaterally deciding to be a SAHP without even DISCUSSING IT WITH HER PARTNER.

When you say “we” bond with them — you mean OP’s wife right? Because he’s stated he never gets to spend barely any time bonding with the child — or is bonding only for mothers now?

Also, when you say “Her Infant” don’t you mean “Their Infant”? Only mentioning this as all the top comments are chucking proper fits over OP’s verbiage.

HES IN A POSITION OF PRIVELEGE? What an ignorant and absolutely uneducated statement. SHE is in a position of privilege to stay at home. He is not in a position of privilege here. HE is suffering because of it. It is not “working” if they’re practically fucking divorcing over it.

Just because you can make something work doesn’t mean you should. I could make it work feeding my son on $8 a week but that wouldn’t be fair to him would it, because his QOL would be greatly decreased.

This situation is not sustainable on either side and to pretend otherwise is quite frankly delusional.