AITA for giving my fiance consequences for not fulfilling a promise?

I agree with everyone’s emphatic ESH but I would like to approach with a little bit more empathy and sincerely recommend therapy. I actually supported an ex financially as he drove my car around on a suspended license as well... and it was so reflexive that I probably could have posted something like this and had a bunch of people be this shocked that I’d allow something like that to happen. We finally broke up (because spoiler alert, things kept getting worse) and I finally started seeing someone to try to understand 1. Why I was so scared of being unlovable that I’d tolerate just about anything from a partner and 2. What deeper issues I was trying to procrastinate on facing by filling up all of my headspace with someone else’s chaos.

And I get wanting to excuse the behavior with ADHD, but if he had your best interest in mind and actually wanted to overcome the obstacle to do what he needed to do to keep you out of potential trouble, he’d collaborate with you on the best ways to help support him to get tasks done rather than ask you to stop bothering him about it.

This is the time in your life where you should really be coming into your identity and identifying what you want for your future. If it’s motherhood, great! If it’s college age peen, that’s great too! But mixing the two isn’t sustainable and the solution starts with looking inward.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread