I think it's really sad that you're being dumped on in this thread. I'm a feminist, I dislike the cultural expectations that are often called "toxic masculinity," and most of the men in my life don't live the way you do. And I still think it's shitty that people are telling you that the bonding moment you consider the most significant among you and the men you care most about simply isn't important. That's aside from what's going on in this post about the miscarriage, they're just dismissing your critical bonding time with the closest men in your life as not a big deal. That sucks, and it's not the kind of empathetic I suspect they generally imagine themselves to be.