Unless your name is on the lease or mortgage, she gets to make/change whatever rules she wants. It would be a dick move to claim having already made a 10 pm curfew if she hadn't, but she may honestly remember that conversation differently than you do. Either way, she's completely within her rights to set one now.
You are absolutely TA for having your friend over that late at night. If you lived alone or had roommate(s) you knew it wouldn't bother, that would be one thing. I understand that you tried to be quiet, but it was still wrong. The fact that you've done it before and think that makes it somehow automatically OK makes you even more of an AH.
Finally, you are TA for getting angry and defensive instead of trying to see her side of things. You may very well have destroyed your friendship with her.