YTA. Siding with the boyfriend. I’m amazed on the lack of compassion and the robot judgements from the majority here. My POV is that your decision to be so sharp with the “No” will drive him away from you. As it was mentioned, his military friend means to him, and maybe you should be more flexible. You are super focused on the fact your bf is meeting your family for the first time, that you are failing to see you are invalidating his family (he is probably considering his friend as family). One more point I want to make is that I bet your boyfriend would gain more sympathy with your folks if he brings his friend versus if he doesn’t and sulks/is not super happy during the dinner.