NTA. I am the only deaf person in a hearing family. I grew up in the hearing community and the deaf community. I’ve been mainstreamed and have gone to a school for the deaf. I’ve had a ton of hearing culture exposure. I’ve been incredibly lucky that my family signs. Ironically, my deafness is genetic but is weak in some ways. I’m the only one who is deaf. I have three kids and any of them could’ve been born deaf.
My ex husband is deaf (have two children) and my current husband (have one child) is hearing but is a sign language interpreter. They both come from different backgrounds but yet we all agreed that if any of our kids were born deaf, this child will never be implanted.
I mean... this is BRAIN SURGERY. Holy shit. I would never want to put my child through a elective procedure that involves their head. It’s risky. I don’t like it. I’d be a nervous wreck. If it’s life and death necessary then so be it but a cochlear implant is NOT life or death issue. It’s elective and very invasive. It does not work for everyone and requires a ton of time spent in audiology clinic adjusting and a ton of time training. I know a lot of people who regrets their implant. I know a few that doesn’t even use their implants but I didn’t ask in depth about them. It’s widely known in the deaf community that implants are a hit or a miss. I also know a few who were implanted as an adult. I’m totally cool w that. Their choice because they as an adult- CHOSE. Implants comes with restrictions as well. It also comes with risks like infections and etc. Implants don’t always work and needs to be upgraded eventually with new tech and the process starts again. If implanted as a baby, a TON of parents do not learn sign language and etc. it’s like implants is a instant cure. It’s ridiculous. It’s not how it is. It is supposed to be used as a supplementary tool to help, not as a cure. Unfortunately, doctors and audiologists frame it as a cure and discourage sign language which is absolutely key for language acquisition. I just don’t want to put my child through that. If my child wanted to be implanted later, have at it. It would be their choice. Their body, their choice.
I just wouldn’t force my child through brain surgery.
Yes, being deaf is hard. We have tons of challenges but oh my god, we have such a wonderful deaf community and culture!!
Lastly, I’m a bit shocked that you and your husband didn’t discuss this before conceiving or at least early in the pregnancy stage and resolve this. This is important. I even communicated with my oldest that if he ever met anyone with the same genetic deafness condition to really consider having children and knowing the risks of both parents have the genetic condition (deafness is not a problem but it can cause bone deformity, cleft and etc). Communication is important, especially when parenting children. This involves invasive surgery.