AITA for making no time for my estranged father to meet my child?


(I was going to say not, but you get more and more jaded as the post goes on, and act like your father actively tried to hurt you, while saying no such thing.)

He moved because she didn't want to leave her job or her parents and he decided he wanted to be with her more than he wanted to stay local to me.

Things like this from adults are just unreasonable. It's understandable to not really get it when you're a child, it's understandable for it to cause some tension, and every teen ever stops going to visit their parent that moved away. It's normal, but as as an adult, you should gain some respect and understanding for a parent who wants to be happy.

The very idea that a parent who doesn't have full custody of you, should force their entire life to be "local" to you, as you branch out, live your own life, stop caring about them more and more, etc, is just insane and absurd. He had a wife, someone who makes him happy I'd bet, and he wanted to be able to live with her.

It's not like he could just take you away to be with him instead.

You're not going to keep him company at night. You, as a child, would leave him for days, weeks, or even months on end to do your own thing. That's completely okay, but you shouldn't hold parents who aren't together to this idea that they need to "stay local" and basically be trapped by your other parent still.

I missed my dad like crazy at first but then it turned to anger.

this part is on your to work out with yourself. It's really unfair to be angry at someone for trying to find happiness in life.

like it wasn't obvious that I would be pissed my dad moved to be with her.

She didn't do anything wrong though, and you're holding it against her that as a child, you got really mad that your father moved away and was happy with her.

I always said no or told him I wasn't making time for them to come meet her.

You aren't just not making an effort, you are actively punishing them. You're being INSANELY childish.

I promptly told her she is nothing to my baby.

This is fine, but I assume the reason is because you hate her for stealing your father away, something she didn't actually do, and something she doesn't have a responsibility to you about/for. Your father having another family after he and your mother fall out, isn't something actively done on any of their parts to hurt you and ruin your life somehow.

You need to let go of a lot of this, and I honestly thing you need to go to therapy again, this time while actually wanting to move past this, as opposed to just be angry and mad at them for things they didn't do to you.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread