YTA honestly u sound exactly like my ex. He cut me once during foreplay accidentally and I was in tremendous pain because he kept forcing himself on me during the relationship. One time I actually prayed to god because I was so uncomfortable and in so much pain I felt like I was being raped over and over because when I said no he yelled at me and made me cry until I finally did. Actually he said those exact words to me. He also pushed me into walls and left bruises on my body and said it was my fault for being pasty white. He would also hide my phone and keys so I couldn’t leave the house. Yes. You are in fact, a piece of shit. Regardless or not if u aren’t him and this is just extremely coincidental.. u still sound like a fucking dick. It’s her body and you’re crossing a boundary when she’s in pain and you’re forcing her to have sex w her- whether or not u want to admit it you’re an abuser.