AITA For Not Forgiving My Husband (26m) For A Mistake And Not Trusting Him With Our Child?

you are NTA, times infinity.

it's not your job or your responsibility to work on forgiveness. it is jim's, his family, and all of the friends jobs to WORK to EARN BACK your trust and forgiveness... FOR AS MUCH AND AS LONG AS IT TAKES. this means: - no guilt trips from jim et al, at any time, saying "haven't i done enough?". if they dare ask, the answer is an automatic no, just for asking the question

  • what can (jim) do to earn, and keep earning that trust back and begin to heal? like anger management to start, going to a therapist BY HIMSELF to work on becoming a better person. and anything else HE can come up with, to show you that he is doing some deep introspection on his reaction, language, and non communication.

  • he needs to be able to deal with if you cannot ever heal from this, and he has to be ok with that being a very real possible future

these are the BASICS he'll really need to work on to start building that bridge back to you. it's his job, not yours.

  • you are under no obligation to ever forgive if your heart is not there, stay honest with yourself and it's ok if you never get there.
/r/AmItheAsshole Thread