I was torn between N A H and Y T A. But I think YTA if you don’t attend your sister’s wedding. Her wedding isn’t about you.

I’m also writing from the perspective of the fact that I had to have my abusive sister at my wedding because it was before I felt strong enough to go no contact, I had to smile and take photos with her. I had to see her snarking at me from the table across the room. And while that’s not the same as your BF, your sister is entitled to a happy wedding day. And if you love her, that is what you should focus on. Your BF being there would bring up painful memories for your sister. It says a lot that her ex is in prison for whatever he did to her. You will never know how she felt that moment that he chose to take away some of her power or how she copes in her every day life. One of those coping skills was cutting out her ex’s entire family. You should be respectful of her mental health and boundaries.

And it doesn’t matter if it happened five years ago. Abuse is abuse. It stays with a person.