YTA. At the time you incurred your debts, you weren’t married and hadn’t even met your wife. She had no input in that choice. If you hadn’t met her, you would still have graduated in the same amount of debt. And notably, her income did not impact your ability to take out loans to finance your dreams.

You are now married. She is not free to take out loans independent of your income. So your income is holding her back from following her dreams, and you won’t even use that income to help her.

This is foolish for another reason: if she goes back to school and gets a higher paying job, as her husband, your quality of life goes up too. If she doesn’t, your family will lose her income and your quality of life will drop. Why would you choose to have a worse life instead of a better one to prove a point that’s not even valid? The circumstances of your lives when you chose to take out loans vs. now, when she wants to do the same, are completely different so the same “rules” shouldn’t apply.