Bio-dad actually has clinically diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Like, he’s not just “narcissistic”, he actually has the Cluster-B disorder, diagnosed after being evaluated by a psychiatrist.
I’m not excusing his behavior; I hate the man and find him both a monster and incredibly pathetic , but I’m just explaining that he doesn’t have the thought process of a “normal” person. He literally cares for no one but himself and will never be able to. He’s not interested in treatment, he won’t even admit that he has NPD. Had he not been court ordered to get a psych evaluation, he would have never even gone to a psychiatrist in the first place.
In the end, it doesn’t even matter. He knows right from wrong and he can control himself and his behavior. He just doesn’t care who he hurts as long as he gets what he wants.
There is no reconciliation to be had. He’d have to want help, put in time and effort, make actual changes to himself, and acknowledge the years and years of abuse he put us through. He won’t even admit that he has NPD, though, so him getting actually starting therapy is as likely as us getting an actual apology; nonexistent.