I totally get the whole wedding planning is stress and even in the beginning i was always saying if invited and it's her wedding at the end of the day. I had to talk my grandmother into sending a check and she's annoyed cause my cousin hasn't even thanked her for the money or deposited it.
I mean under normal circumstances I definitely would want to be the bigger person as well. But I do feel it's kind of rude for my cousin to invite us three weeks before her wedding. My parents live closer but I'm in the midwest and she's on the East Coast. I had accepted being not invited and was just focusing on my own life. I had originally planned to fly out if I was invited, but I'm not rearranging my life now. It also would have been nice for her to reached out originally if it was a guest limit thing or explained why it was coming so late. I would have but that doesn't mean the rest of the world would need to as well.