AITA for not sending my daughter to a different school district so she could be in gifted education?

I also think many "gifted" programs are objectively harmful to children if they emphasize the child being "gifted" rather than the hard work they put in. Numerous studies have shown, for instance, that when a child succeeds at something telling them "wow you are so smart" will cause problems later on because the child sees failure as a reflection of them not being smart.

In my experience it's not the gifted program that fucks you up this but the normal class. In the gifted class we were all equal, everyone would finish work and tests fast and there was always more to do, and if you failed, it was ok, because more of the class would struggle with you than not. In the regular class I finished all the work in the first ten minutes, pulled out a chapter book thick enough to be a doorstop, and the disparity is pretty obvious. Kids aren't unobservant.

I think at the very least, OOP should have thoroughly investigated the program to see whether it would have been in her daughter's best interest to attend.

...Clearly observation isn't your best skill if you think that OOP is going to do this. She oozes laziness and self centeredness. She doesn't give two fucks about her kid. What kind of SAHM that has one two year old during the day needs TWO housekeepers?? FFS.

It's not all about the program either, Juliet is already doing special schoolwork separately from the rest of the class. She's been "othered" already. Bullies will swarm like flies to honey, especially as she gets older. Even if the gifted program isn't any better, if the normal classes have more gifted kids, she's less likely to get bullied over it. I made a move similar to this one in middle school and it literally saved my life.

I'm wondering where your opinion comes from. Were you a gifted kid?

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