I so agree with this, I went off the rails a bit between the ages of 13-17. Nothing majorly bad but I was definitely a bit of a handful. Looking back on it, any time I was punished by being grounded or having things taken away from me it really didn’t deter me from bad behaviour, it just made me feel isolated and angry. Which in turn damaged my relationship with my parents.

I remember being caught with vodka when I was 13 or 14. My parents gave me a really stern “I’m disappointed in you” talk and honestly that would have been enough to make me consider what I’d done and how it had made them feel. But then they grounded me and I think they might have also stopped me from using the computer for a while. Which obviously pissed me off and we were back to square one.

I think it seems counterintuitive to some people not to punish kids for things, but I think people underestimate the power of having conversations and communicating with teens about mistakes they’ve made.