AITA for not telling my boyfriend that I've had an abortion?

NAH and he's not mad about you having one at all, despite all the commentors saying he is. He told you he's mad that you didn't tell him, and that's honest, but I think it's a bit less than that. He's actually upset that he was blindsided by it in a conversation with your sister who was looking to stir up trouble.

He had to, in that moment, hide surprise that this happened in your life, hide any reaction to it that he may have had(including positive or supportive ones), and base his reaction on your reaction. Your sister put you two in an uncomfortable position, and it was more uncomfortable to him because it was new knowledge of a significant medical procedure that most partners would know about, that he couldn't react to. Hence the "lie of omission" comments.

That would be something I would be annoyed about, sure. His reaction was a bit bigger than that, but due to the public stigma around abortions, and the fact that you two had discussed everything around it in your future but had not addressed that it occured in the past....I'm not surprised he's frustrated at being put in that spot.

Probably worth a talk that his reaction was a bit extreme though. But I wouldn't call him an asshole for not being able to articulate his frustration, but still being frustrated.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread