AITA for not wanting my BF's family to come over without me knowing?

I can't edit on the original post because of the character limit but I feel like I should clarify a few things.

  1. One of the main reasons I keep referring to the apartment as "my apartment" is because my BF is the one who insists on calling it that (for example he tells our friends "oh you should come over to OP's apartment Saturday, we're having a BBQ" etcetera). He can move out anytime he likes and he's mentioned it a few times before, but never ends up doing it. I'm assuming it's because I live in a nicer area and the apartment building where I live has a few perks that he wouldn't have were he to move somewhere else (he's got it pretty sweet basically). Plus his job is close by, he spent most of his time here anyways, and he keeps me and my puppy company and I enjoy being with him. I don't mind it at all and my parents don't mind it, he helps pay for what he can like food and bills and it helps them out with the costs a bit and it helps them feel a bit better to know I'm not totally on my own living in a foreign country. I sometimes feel like it's this is an odd situation and in the back of my mind think it also might be because BF has a plan B in case things don't pan out between us, but right now we're happy and things have been great so far.

  2. My issue wasn't with his family coming over, it was the fact that it was so many of them and I had so little time to prepare everything I made this clear to BF and took the advice a few people mentioned and spoke to BF's mother. I had to do it over the phone because I'm interning in a hospital over the summer, so it's not like we could go see her over the weekend so it could be in person. She reacted ~meh~, but at least I was able to explain the situation and let her know it was a misunderstanding, so I will see what happens when I see her at the party in two weeks. That being said BF still stands firmly by what he said saying I'm TA, so I just decided to completely drop the subject for now and will find a better time to discuss everything with him once all the feelings have passed.

  3. I've seen only a few people mention this, but I'll put it out there anyways. My time is super limited so I can't work to help pay for things and my parents decided it was best for them to pay my things and let me focus on my studies 100%. They also don't want me having to worry about paying off student loan debt once I start working. I understand how incredibly lucky I am and am super thankful to them for that because I know not a lot of people have that opportunity. I plan to repay everything as much as I can once I start earning money, not only for what they've done but just for being such awesomeazing parents in general.

  4. Yes, i was the one freaking out to clean up because his mother knows the apartment is technically mine/my parent's, and since we're Latino, elders--especially women--are super critical about cleanliness etc and always look down on the woman if the house were not in order.

  5. I get that my post probably made my BF come off as an ass/mooch/gaslighter, but I nor my parents see him as any of that. I think the situation was equally stressful for the both of us and I failed to realize that at the moment, and so it led things to escalate quickly and for both of us to react immaturely.

I'm not sure if I left anything else out, but I'll try and clarify things if I can.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread