NTA, you both seem to be in the same page, and especially during covid, weddings aren’t a great idea. Wedding are stupid expensive and not worth stressing about. I have serious respect for the both of you to marry each other in private. It seems like his parents are very traditional and weddings are essential in their sense- being they wanted to be apart of it because they are his parents. I get that, but do as you and your husband are comfortable with. Big weddings are bullshit in my opinion. But having a post celebration isn’t a bad idea AS LONG as your are BOTH 100% comfortable with it. Don’t feel pressure by traditions or family. It is your lives not theirs, NTA 110%. It is your lives (your husbands and yours) to do as you wish. Don’t worry about hurting feelings because live is too short for that. Yes his parents may want a proper wedding and are willing to pay for it but that’s material. Love and comfort is what really matters. Yes , it may hurt their feelings but too fucking bad. It’s not their life. It’s yours husbands and yours. Don’t feel pressured because that means that it’s an ultimatum. That’s fucking toxic. Not to say any bad words about his family in which I know nothing about but from a sober, outside opinion, it seems unreasonable for them to ask that of both of you knowing you already have said your vows, knowing you guys wanted privacy when y’all married. I imagine y’all did that for a reason, to have space, to be in complete focus and none of the anxiety, bullshit and expenses that comes with a wedding. If your in laws are pressuring y’all to have a wedding, imagine what the wedding day would be like. STRESSFUL AF and not in control as someone else is running the show (their money)
At the end of the day, all that matters, that yourself and your husband are happy. I’m so happy for y’all and wish both your husband and yourself all the love, happiness and whatever life brings you. Don’t feel bad OP. As long as your husband and yourself are in the same page with no regrets , you have nothing to worry about.