YTA. If I’m reading this correctly, he’s not mad that you’re not taking his name, he’s mad that you’d take anyone else’s name but not his. I understand where you’re coming from, but here’s the thing: you are going to marry this man. You are going to have to stand alongside him against the racism he faces because you’re going to be a team. You don’t get to distance yourself from it. You’re going to marry a middle eastern man, and that’s going to come with the unpleasant treatment he receives from the world. If you have children, they’re going to be of mixed ethnicity, and if they’re not “passing”, they’re going to face racism too. There’s not going to be any avoiding it. Again, there’s nothing wrong with not taking your husband’s name - that wouldn’t be my preference either. But to not do it for this reason, and you ask him to erase his identity, so you can avoid the effects of the racism he faces everyday instead of standing with him against it? That would sting for me too. I don’t think you should feel pressured into doing it unless your opinion on this changes, but I can see why this would be very hurtful.