Yessss this comment right here! Although I would vote NAH instead of Y T A personally. You can acknowledge the harm done without apologizing for the unfortunate circumstances themself.

Sounds like both OP and the husband recognize there was a lot of emotional trouble during that time and I think it would be far more helpful to your relationship in the long run to bridge the gap and have a candid conversation about how difficult those years were for everyone involved. It was a chance to build camaraderie and I have a feeling the daughter just wants to talk about how hard it was during those times and the stress of quarantine/covid has pushed her to express these feelings in an unhealthy way.

Open a dialogue OP! If the daughter begins insulting or berating either you or your husband shut that down but be open to hearing about her hurt and regret. Be open to being real with her about how difficult it was for you to care for a sick husband and a daughter. Providing for her materially and keeping her in her activities was amazing and it sounds like you did the best you possibly could but that doesn’t mean the daughter didn’t feel emotionally neglected during a difficult time in her life (being a teen and having a dying dad sounds incredibly painful).

No one is evil here, just some hurt that could be discussed and now that she’s an adult she can be privy to how difficult that time was for you OP, and maybe that would give her some good perspective on the situation.