ESH this is why traditionally it's really looked down upon to marry outside your religion unless they convert. It brings up constant conflicts and arguing, and you're all right and you're all wrong. While I totally understand why you are so upset, I can also see their side. YOU CHOSE TO MARRY A NON-JEWISH MAN. Your husband is the one who chose to marry you with all your religious traditions, not your stepson. He doesn't have any choice in the matter. He wasn't born into your religion. He wasn't raised in your religion. And it;s clear at this age, he doesn't believe or respect your religion. Yet you're determined to cram it down his throat and make him comply with your rules. The kid just want to be able to eat a bacon burger in his home. But you won't allow it. And you're making it very clear that it is YOUR house, not their's, so your rules apply and they get no say. That doesn't bode well for your relationships.
Personally, I think you need to come up with some kind of compromise and solution where the boy can eat a burger in his own home. Do you have a garage? How about setting it up as a teen space with a couch and tv, a mini fridge, a little microwave, and install a small sink so he can wash his dishes and let him eat bacon burgers when he wants out there without conta
minating your kitchen. YOur inflexibility it going to make him absolutely hate you and is likely to drive a huge wedge between you and your husband. You might even end up divorced from the way you're treating them. So you can choose your batteles and learn to compromise, or you can be an inflexible hardass and drive both you non-Jewish husband and stepson away.
YOU are the one who chose to marry a man outside your faith. Doing that requires compromise and finesse. YOU need to bend, and THEN you will have more power in requesting respect from your stepson. Because right now, your stepson does not respect you or your religion and no matter how hard you come down on him or how much you kick him out, you're not going to earn that respect. Bend a bit and you will..