ESH because your collective selfishness is harmful to the innocent children. You made a mess. It stared out good! Divorced because of things that were nonnegotiable surrounding children. Then you went and had the children that he did not want, both got lonely and decided to hang out. After a few years he bonded with the kids and came around to them and warmed up to the family that seemed to be coming together but you still have a chip on your shoulder about doing the hard part (that you chose) and you're... using him for a school district? It sounds like he grew as a person while you grew bitter? Based on this post It looks like he got over the stupid "but MUH GENES" hangup and you're retroactively mad he wasn't over it in the beginning.