I mean if Grandma won't pay the tuition to the school he chose so he would have tuition paid, he can transfer to an in state public uni - and in that case, the parents should absolutely help him out if they have the means to.

But still, the fact the no options were discussed other then "kitchen reno takes priority over your future" ;for me it's insane that he is on his own, just becuase he is old enough to go to college.

20K will already be a huge help. They survived this far without redoing the kitchen. Just replace whatever appliances need replacing and help him out with the rest. And what happens if any of the other kids choose not to go to a christian school, say because another school offers a better curriculum for what they are interested in? Will they also be left to fend for themselves because they want a better education?