AITA for refusing to split the cost of a housekeeper with my boyfriend?

This kind of stuff creates resentment. Resentment escalates into problems in the relationship.

You are not asking him to adopt your standards. You are asking him to contribute equally. His resistance to that signals something greater in your connection with each other.

I am sorry but I have the suspicion from your post, that you have enabled this passive aggressive behavior in him. Now you want accountability.

I think you need to confront him more thoroughly. I would talk to him about how caring for the home you share is a way of caring for each other. And that if he refuses to do this, he is sending you a hostile message he may not be aware of.

You haven't said this, but cleaning up after another person's excrement/waste can feel dehumanizing. Even when we love that person very much.

It gets painful after a while to do. Especially when that person diminishes the importance of it.

NTA.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread Parent