It sure sounds like they had talked about it and agreed to get married and were there short of exchanging rings. He listened to her, understood that she didn't want her autonomy violated, and didn't put any pressure on her. They had already made the decision, so the only thing she's objecting to is the fact that the specific event included her kids. In an abstract, I can agree with you, with this specific instance, I think she's dramatically over-reacting. If you're in a relationship and you lay down boundaries, sometimes it actually is a good thing for your partner to push those boundaries for your own benefit; that's part of having a partner, being challenged and being pushed out of your comfort zone to grow as a person. If your partner understands why you laid down the boundary in the first place, they can push you past it in a way that doesn't hurt, but heals you. It sounds like he was trying to show her that it's okay to include her kids, the people they both love as a family, in emotionally significant events because it doesn't have to impede her decision making.