I do not know what the 10 year old thinks, he doesn't talk to me. I dont try to tell him what to do. I just ask if he brushes his teeth today because after taking him on his first flight and cruise, I asked if he brushed his teeth and he said his brush was still in his bag that was a month ago so I told his dad that he isn't paying attention to his son. I can't really parent someone else's child clearly. SO that is why i asked if I am the aHole for leaving because I have no word in anything and I am the one that seems to be responsible. I read dozens of books since being a parent. I have had my child for a year and I make sure I do everything. I want to be a step parent but how can I when his dad doesn't feel I can even say anything to him or ask if he brushed his teeth..... I seem to be the only one that cares if he is taking care of himself not his own mom who lives 7 mins down the road.... so please dont. i am being treating like a prisoner and I am feeling bad for wanting to walk away with my own child but feeling guilty for leaving the soon to be 12 year old alone because no one is caring for him!