It wasn’t huge amount though? The only money involved in this is allowance, there is plenty for the college fund outside of the petty cash they receive. The son may not be able to go to his top college but there’s enough to do 2 years in community college and the transfer to a state school.
In addition, I hate cars and am much more in favor of public transit but it is a blind and uninformed to assume that the kids would not need vehicles where they live. They certainly don’t need a new car but we live in car centric infrastructure. Clearly the daughter can afford a used vehicle AND the school of her choice. The son can’t because he decided to get flashy clothes, shoes, and a new car while also expecting his Dad to fund everything. He shouldn’t have everything funded just because he never wanted take the father’s monetary advice.