It's like my father, a native from Mexico, decided we weren't to learn Spanish. My mother was white with no bilingual skills and raised us on her own. As far as family goes we just have her, as our surviving relatives would've been all his side. However, we grew up with no cousins and no connection to his family. We couldn't even try our best because none speak English. His selfish reasoning was along the same lines as your Chinese ex. I still struggle to this day with only knowing English as it's come up regularly as an issue. Employees have brought people to me and asked me to translate, Mexican friends have excluded me once they realized I was "white-washed", people have called me a list when I say I know no Spanish because I have such strong features, my middle school lunch table was assigned to a Spanish speaking table and I was never a part of conversation and made no friends, the list goes on and on and it's horrible. Thank you for teaching her the language regardless of his wishes. He gets no choice as he hasn't raised her.