"doesn't see me as a parental figure" - you are 2, count em, 2 years older than her, you are not a parental figure.

"barely acknowledges me as family" - you are her fathers wife, not her mother, she is under no requirement to acknowledge you as her family

"he wanted both of us to give her away and have a dance with her."creepy as fuck, you are not a parent or anyone significant in her life

So let's see, Michael threw his money around, and Stella called his bluff and now Daddy Dearest haz de sadz that his behaviour resulted in not only not getting to go to the wedding, but finding out after the fact?

"I suggested he cut her off financially " - how well did that work for you the last time?

Yeah, you done fucked up. I bet you had all these images of being a doting "grandma" didn't you? Never going to happen. Am curious now that you have made the "its her or me" ultimatum, I do now wonder how long it will be before Michael chooses being a father and a grandfather over you, and you find yourself given walking papers.