YTA

Children, adult or not, make all kinds of awful mistakes. A more productive way to deal with this would be to get your son in therapy. Maybe Bella is too much for him, maybe she needs a care home that will serve her needs.

I may have the unpopular opinion but I feel that when children have uniquely difficult challenges that it's not fair to assume that every person, just because they can become a parent, is going to be able to cope.

Parent's of autistic kids get very little help. Sure, sure, in an ideal world the son would rise up and magically develop the skills & ability to parent Bella. But we don't live in an ideal world.

So, in the real world, what is going to best serve everyone? Can son parent if he does so every other weekend & visits Bella in-between? Is there a home for special needs kids nearby so Bella can have overnights & frequent visits with family?

I can't even imagine how hard it is to parent a child with a severe disability but I sure know that this dad is screaming for help & he deserves to be supported not abandoned and shamed. He doesn't see any solutions because he's in too much of a panic & has no support himself. Bella may be getting therapy & medical care, etc but is the son? Does he have someone he can honestly and without jugement talk with about his feelings?

Really, everyone here sucks. I just think son sucks because he's overwhelmed. OP sucks because they aren't loving their own child unconditionally. Imagine being at the "end of your rope" and having the people who are supposed to love you the most say they are going to disown you rather than telling you, "you aren't alone, I know this is hard & I'll help you figure out a solution, I love you & I love Bella. Let's find a solution that serves everyone".

That's my unpopular opinion.